“I’m waiting for a sign.”
“If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
How many times have you heard this phrase from people who have a goal?
I went out to dinner with a friend recently, and when we sat down, we started talking about this idea she’s had to go back to school for… a really long time. I asked her what she was waiting for, and she said “I’m waiting for a sign that it’s the right thing. If it’s meant to be, it will be.”
Here’s the problem I have with this statement.
Well, I have a few problems with this statement.
Approximately three problems, and I’m going to share them in a way so you can take action on negating these unhealthy beliefs and making them work for you instead of hold you back.
To err is human. My friend has a limiting belief that she needs a sign to tell her she should make a move in her life, and when she gets it she will know that it must be the right one and she cannot fail. Such thoughts are so damaging for so many reasons. First of all, if you’re going to try something in the hopes that you will succeed, you will absolutely fail a few times. Face it: you’re human. It’s going to happen. Instead of living in fear about it, be authentic in your attempts to work for something that will make your life better. If you fail, you can get back up again and if it means that much to you, you WILL get back up again.
What you allow is what will continue. The limiting belief that if you stand still, you’ll see all the signs all over the place and you’ll just move in that direction, is quite frankly damaging to your life. Do you really think that the Universe/God/whatever higher power you believe in is going to reward you for standing still? Anyone who has ever succeeded in anything has one common thread: they did something to change their situation. Consistent, actionable somethings that added up to a big something. If your goal is X, what are the steps to take you from A, through all the other letters, to get to X? Break each step down so small and bite-sized that you have no other choice but to do it every day.
Time is not on your side. I hate to break it to you, but time is one of the things that doesn’t wait – it keeps going. The limiting belief that you always have time is not something to rest your laurels on. When my clients are working hard and need to give themselves grace, I always remind them about tomorrow. But when you haven’t started yet, you don’t get the benefit of tomorrow. You will only recycle your thoughts into the next day, week, month, or year. Time is a currency, and the only one you can’t get back. Spend it the way the best version of yourself would spend it!
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