Myth of Doing It All: Guest Blog Post by Melissa Smalley

Let’s just be real here- No one can do it all!

We are trying to balance a growing career, raise our kids, develop relationships, seek health and more. Due to scarcity of time as a resource, none of us can do it all perfectly.

 

Each of us have to make choices constantly between work and family, exercising and relaxing, friends and career, time for ourselves and time for others- I could go on and on. We have to make adjustments, compromise and sacrifice everyday.

I struggled with balancing it all for many years. I wanted to be the perfect wife, mother, volunteer, and grow my career and business. Magazines, television, and social media told me how I should act and be as a women. I wore myself out!

Over the years, I realized I have to be the woman I desire. Do what I love. And be who I am. Not what society tells me I should be. 

The book Lean In from Sheryl Sandberg, reassured me that I was okay to be who I am and doing  it all is a myth. 

I felt compelled to share the four tips to help women find balance in their lives inspired by Lean In.  


1- Do not compare yourself to others. 

We tend to compare our home-life and work-life to others. I venture to say your perception of them doing it all is tainted. You are giving yourself a false belief that they have it all. No one can have a high performance job, perfect children, cook amazing meals for their family have an amazing body. 

We are told how to act, dress, look, and speak to be accepted. Therefore, we pretend to be someone we are not. Trying to be something you are not or hiding away your individuality is reinforcing the idea that you are ashamed of who you are. I would even go further and say, it is robbing you of your true happiness.

So what if? What if, you start believing in yourself?

What if, you become proud of who you are and no longer compared yourself to others?

2- Decide what matters. 

Since you can’t do it all, decide what matters most and do that well. Then look at things you can delegate to others or hire to be done.

Figure out what resources you need to gain time to achieve your dreams. Maybe the help comes from family, friends, spouse, neighbor, teachers, pastor, church family, or hired help.

 

When you need to achieve new goals in your life, you have look to others to help you. This may be hiring a babysitter, paying for a housekeeper, asking your mom to assist with dinners, or having your husband do the laundry.

We all struggle to keep up. It does not mean you are weak. You are human. Just ask for help.

 

Who can help you now?

3- Done is better than perfect. 

Do you find perfectionism holds you back? 

When you are juggling it all, embracing the motto, “Done is better than perfect,” may help you get through the day. This motto can be a little messy and complicated. But, despite your best efforts to make your work perfect, you can bury yourself in procrastination and low self-esteem.

Delegating tasks is also important for you to find balance. But, if you are delegating a task, you cannot get caught up in the way the work is completed or that it is not perfect. Embrace that it is done.


4- Draw the line on the amount of time you are willing to work. 

If you are spending countless hours at work, you will burn yourself out and others. The best way to combine career and family life is to deliberately make choices of how you are spending your time. Plan your day and stick to the plan.

I recommend planning your day with purpose. Take time to review your day, month and year. Deliberately plan your time with purpose and values guiding you. Remember- no one can do it all. Identify the priorities at home and work. Plan accordingly and do not guilt yourself into feeling your not enough.

If you are trying to do it all, you are probably experiencing overwhelm, stress and lack of purpose. It is time to give yourself a break!

Stop comparing yourself.

Decide what matters.

Accept done is better than perfect.

And, draw the line on the amount of time you are willing to work.


Which of these do you need to adopt in your life to achieve more balance?
Comment below to share with other amazing women!

 

 


Meet Melissa!

I am a born and raised Ohio girl who loves her Jeep, cafe ole’, lake life, adopting Airedale Terriers, country running and inspiring words. Oh, and dancin’ in the kitchen!

I am most proud of the little piece of “God’s Country” I get to share with my amazing husband, Rob, and our three boys: Payton, Caden and Karsyn. They have all given me the gift of not taking myself too seriously and help me to laugh out loud – daily.

My passions and experiences don’t quite fit in the traditional box. In my work life and education, I have gone from being Master’s-degree trained in Exercise Science and Fitness Management, a fitness trainer and business owner, to an Executive Director in Healthcare with a Master’s in Business. I break all the conventional rules!

As an Executive Director in the Healthcare Industry, Entrepreneur, Writer, Educator and Creative Spirit, my goal is to move, motivate and inspire working women to become more in their personal and professional life. This is why I started my coaching business, “Become More.”

If you would like to hear more from Melissa, go to www.becomemorewithmelissa.com. When you subscribe there, you will get a FREE Guide and Video to Create Your Why and lay a foundation to goal setting.


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