In honor of Mother's Day, I am sharing a letter I wrote to my daughter. I write my daughter a few emails a month, some are filled with pictures and some are silly stories that I don't want to forget, and when milestones or special occasions come around, they get a little more sappy... you've been warned.
Happy Mother's Day to the mamas, the expecting mamas, and the mamas with babies living in your hearts.
I will probably start every letter I ever write to you as “dear baby,” I can’t imagine ever thinking about you or looking at you and not seeing the baby you were. That’s how special being a mama is; there is nobody on Earth who sees your pure heart and soul the way I do, no matter how old you get.
In our family, we celebrate Mother’s Day by giving the person who made us mothers a gift, and this year – since you have so many physical things already – I’d like to give you this letter instead. It’s a testimony of what being your mother means to me, and it’s filled with things I wish your little almost-three year old mind and heart could understand right now.
Loving you is never not an option. We may get mad at each other, we may say things we don’t mean, but please don’t ever question my love for you. Every time my heart beats, it includes a beat for you – no matter how frustrated or upset I feel.
I have other accomplishments, but they are because of you. The day you came was hazy, confusing, and altogether strange; even with nine months of preparation. However, as we grew into our new family, I grew exponentially as a person. The accomplishments I’ve had since then in my marriage, my business, my friendships and my personal growth have all been because you came here. The gift of you in my life, the gift of motherhood, is a new chapter I didn’t know how to get to without you.
Your life is yours, but I will always be home. As you grow, you’ll be without me for longer stretches of time until one day, you won’t live with me at all. You might even move far away. That’s okay, because your life is yours, not mine. But just don’t forget that my heart will always be your heart’s very first home, and it will always be here when you need it.
Recently, we were doing a craft with some stickers that had big hearts and small hearts on it. You called the big ones “mamas” and the little ones their babies, and you wanted to make sure they were all on your picture together so that “the babies can be with their mamas.”
Sweet, innocent little girl – your mama will always be with you, no matter how big you get. I think it’s because I am the only one in the whole world that sees your baby face when I look at you. So even though I know you’ll grow bigger tomorrow, and I am looking forward to the things we can do together in the future, all the things you’ll accomplish without my help, too – that baby and I will always be together.
The big heart and the little heart, together forever.
I love you,